How things are calculated is a good question in general. I just recently found out that fighting (not even necessarily killing them) gives you most of the research points ...
Every destroyed building and defense also gives resources to your opponent, I have no idea how this is calculated but they get basically the same amount of resources that you need to spend while repairing.
I lost 44k tiberium and 701k crystals when destroyed today (on server 2). But I'm sure I only had at most 300k crystals before the attack.
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