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Dating a friend's ex

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# 1Paradox^ May 1 2011, 18:11 PM
Do any of you know anyone who's done it? I've been friends with this girl all year, but a month after meeting her my suitemate met her and started dating her. I wasn't really emotionally attached to her back then, but after a few months, they broke up. Apparently he never really saw them as more then "friends that kiss". She pretty much hates his guts right now because he has had a huge crush on this girl from down the hall since day one, and she saw them together within a week of the break up.

Fast forward to now, me being her friend, I've been around her a lot to help comfort her and get her through this, and the inevitable is happening. I'm pretty much in a situation where I should either go with my head or my heart.

I should also mention that we are living right next to each other next year, so that complicates the situation. Advice?

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# 2HoMiCiDe May 2 2011, 01:41 AM
Doesn't matter, go for it.

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# 3IDKwhoiam May 2 2011, 23:48 PM
I've done it before... if your friend is mature about it then it really shouldn't matter. I would talk to your friend about it first and see how he feels about it and hopefully he'll be ok with it. The only thing you have to be careful about is since she hates him you have to carefully consider how much you would be around him when with her. I would not recommend just cutting out your friend for this girl, but in all likely hood she's not going to want to be around him so it may mean that you have to be careful to avoid situations where the three of you will be together.

With that said, I still felt like a bit of an asshole when I did it, I won't tell you not to do it, you just have to be careful about how you go about it.

I would say that you should go for it if you think you can handle all of that. If you don't think that you can, then I would just say to bite the bullet on this one. My personal opinion is to be open to giving it a shot if I were you, you just need to be aware of how things can go wrong and try to avoid them.

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# 4Paradox^ May 3 2011, 02:46 AM
Eh. I changed my mind laugh.gif

I thought about it a lot and here's what I'm thinking:

One, she's a great friend, but she's kind of immature when it comes to relationships. I thought about what it was like with him, and I'm not sure that that's the kind of relationship I want to be in. As much as I like her, I'm not sure she would be able to let it go past a certain point, which in all honesty isn't very far from where I'm at right now.

Two, I'm not done partying. As terrible as it sounds, I've only been in college a year and I want to make the most of it. Relationships with people that you know well often last a long time, and one of the first regrets I hear from people is that they wasted their time by being with one girl. Once again, it sounds pretty low, but I don't think I want to settle down just yet. If she is as good of a friend as I believe she is, I will know her well into the future and an opportunity might come up. I'm just not to sure now is the best time.

Thanks for the advice though, it helped.

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# 5IDKwhoiam May 4 2011, 22:48 PM
Glad to hear smile.gif

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# 6HoMiCiDe May 4 2011, 23:18 PM
QUOTE(Paradox^ @ May 2 2011, 22:46 PM) *

Eh. I changed my mind laugh.gif

I thought about it a lot and here's what I'm thinking:

One, she's a great friend, but she's kind of immature when it comes to relationships. I thought about what it was like with him, and I'm not sure that that's the kind of relationship I want to be in. As much as I like her, I'm not sure she would be able to let it go past a certain point, which in all honesty isn't very far from where I'm at right now.

Two, I'm not done partying. As terrible as it sounds, I've only been in college a year and I want to make the most of it. Relationships with people that you know well often last a long time, and one of the first regrets I hear from people is that they wasted their time by being with one girl. Once again, it sounds pretty low, but I don't think I want to settle down just yet. If she is as good of a friend as I believe she is, I will know her well into the future and an opportunity might come up. I'm just not to sure now is the best time.

Thanks for the advice though, it helped.

Wow, you sound so mature when you say it like that lol.

I'm a senior next year and will not "settle down" until the last day tongue.gif

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# 7Paradox^ May 4 2011, 23:38 PM
QUOTE(HoMiCiDe @ May 4 2011, 19:18 PM) *

Wow, you sound so mature when you say it like that lol.

I'm a senior next year and will not "settle down" until the last day tongue.gif

Me? Mature?


unsure.gif



...penis.

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# 8Paradox^ May 11 2011, 16:08 PM
I really wish this was as easy as I made it seem in that other post...I keep changing my mind laugh.gif

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# 9IDKwhoiam May 14 2011, 01:41 AM
Lol, just make up your mind about it and then just stick with it one way or another tongue.gif

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# 10Paradox^ May 14 2011, 21:48 PM
Fuck that. I have an entire summer to flip flop. I'm now heavily leaning towards going for her, especially since she's been messaging me a lot, and I've been getting good vibes. Chances are I will distance myself from her in the beginning of the year, due to partying. When it starts getting cold again, it will have been a while since the break up, the partying will slow down, and I will be that much closer to her (being neighbors and stuff). I'll probably wind up going for her then, and if something happens, then it happens. This isn't a plan or a strategy btw, just a prediction. I'll keep you updated, I'm sure this will still be on the front page come November/December laugh.gif

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# 11IDKwhoiam May 18 2011, 00:38 AM
Haha ok well good luck then wink.gif

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# 12Ang3lic May 31 2011, 16:39 PM
Just a small announcement: Paradox is a fucking noob.

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# 13Paradox^ May 31 2011, 17:09 PM
And you like large penis.

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# 14Ang3lic May 31 2011, 17:12 PM
QUOTE(Paradox^ @ May 31 2011, 13:09 PM) *

And you like large penis.


Humm, I don't think so.

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# 15Paradox^ May 31 2011, 20:11 PM
QUOTE(Ang3lic @ May 31 2011, 13:12 PM) *

Humm, I don't think so.

My bad. You like that you have an extremely large penis wink.gif

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# 16Ang3lic May 31 2011, 22:21 PM
QUOTE(Paradox^ @ May 31 2011, 16:11 PM) *

My bad. You like that you have an extremely large penis wink.gif


I've fixed your post for accuracy smile.gif

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# 17Paradox^ May 31 2011, 22:36 PM
Not fair.

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# 18Ang3lic May 31 2011, 23:55 PM
laugh.gif biggrin.gif

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# 19IDKwhoiam Jun 5 2011, 18:03 PM
n1qshok.gif

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# 20Paradox^ Jun 8 2011, 02:43 AM
How'd you become a Global Admin anyway? I thought you quit GR.

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