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Tip of the Week #8 - How to Get More Time to Play The Beta

By Umpire - 3rd July 2009 - 10:41 AM

A list of 10 ways to make your Girlfriend allow you more time with Dawn of War 2.

1. Explain how playing Dawn of War 2 raises your ability to do more things at once. In the future you'll be able to both do the dishes and vacuum at the same time.

2. Tell her that when you needed a hobby it was either Dawn of War 2 or the "Dungeons & Dragons Live Community"

3. Women hate being rushed into things, so explain to her how Relic is teaching you patience. After all, the next patch is due in August.

4. Point out that the Ork race remind you of her immediate family and therefore this is your preparation for meeting the parents.

5. Tell her she shops too much and explain that your hobby is considerably cheaper. Then give her your credit card and kiss your freedom goodbye.

6. Patiently explain the various nuances and changes in the meta game until she tells you to play just to shut you up. I call this the "lesser evil" method.

7. Show her your über micro and tell her that the more you practice, the better you get with your hands.

8. Express how every time you use "Howl of terror" you think of her, and her lovely singing voice.

9. Promise her that if a man ever disrespects her, you won't hesitate to kick his f*cking ass! Just give him your GFWL ID.

10. You learn to be witty. for Example:

* Instead of saying "Honey, lets make love", you have learned to quote the Apothecary "My gene seed must be preserved!", Women love when you get all dramatic like that.

* After her parents have quietly said grace you break the ice by shouting "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!" and dig in like a proper Ork.

* Impress her friends by acknowledging them as Tyranids and scream "Alien fiends!"

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